Silence After The Fact

Normally I start out a post with the title. So far the title hasn't come to me yet. Probably because my mind is full of a bunch of different thoughts. Maybe it will all come together, or maybe this will just be some free thought. If I can get it out at all through the tears.

Frances died 5 days ago and it seems like forever. I know that I have had several good nights sleep since then, something I had not had in several years. I also know that things have been somewhat hectic the last 5 days and I think that this is really the first time I have had any time to actually sit still and listen to the silence.

We have been cleaning out some of Frances' room and preparing for this trip. We have had a house full of wonderful people helping. I've been trying to get caught up on work so I could again take more time away. Then yesterday and today I've been more focussed on getting all the last minute things done and actually packing. I've never packed for a camping trip by myself before. I have always packed my clothes and the vehicle and trailer and Frances has taken care of the girl, the food, and everything else. I still haven't done it all by myself as Jenny, Anne and Grandma pretty much got the girls ready but I did everything else - far more than I ever have.

Then today we set out about 10:45 and drove until about 5:00 or so. We drove around the campground and picked a site. We did a quick unpack and made some dinner. Well, okay not really made dinner but warmed up some pizza in the microwave. We then went for a walk around the campground. Here is a picture of the girls over looking the sound which we can see from our site:



Sorry, I couldn't move the sun nor the waves to put the lighting together correctly.

The girls were excited to go to bed in the upper bunk in the camping trailer and that, combined with being tired from a long drive and then a pretty good walk, had them begging to go to bed at 7:30. We got them to bed. Maybe not as smooth or pretty as mommy would have, but we managed. I have to think she is looking down on us with a bit of pride for us. As they were going to sleep I set up my "office" in the back of the trailer and finally they were quiet. Now I sit here in silence with lots of time to think; and cry.

Thank you again to those that have helped the last few weeks and are staying at the house while we are gone. We know everything is in good hands and you'll have lots of vegetables from the garden that is coming on.

Everywhere I go, emails, accounts, etc. I find "scottandfrances". Our registration here at the campground (because of our membership) says "Scott and Frances Adams". I can't decide whether I really am scottandfrances or whether I am now just Scott. I feel all alone but changing to just "scott" doesn't seem right. I am still wearing my wedding ring as I can't imagine taking it off even if I could.

It seems several of you have had dreams of Frances. Dreams of Frances walking, running, laughing, mobile and talking. It's not fair as I haven't. In fact I am not sure I have dreamed at all since before Frances died. I have slept, but have not dreamt. That may be a good thing as a Firefighter/EMT doesn't always dream of the nicest of things and most of my dreams are more hauntings than they are dreams. But every now and then a nice one comes along like several weeks ago. Why can't I have the dreams you guys are? Why can't I have some feeling of my bride again?

Looking around this is a BIG trailer. It never seemed so big when the girls and Frances and I were in it. In fact there were times with all of our stuff and our beds down that we could barely walk through it. But now it seems so spacious. And so empty. The three of us just don't seem to fill it right. Maybe after this trip with the girls gets really under way it will shrink around us but for right now it seems huge.

Well, this is enough rambling for now. If you've made it this far I think maybe you are more crazy than me, if that is at all possible???

I am not sure...

...what I am feeling, or if I am feeling. I have purposely kept really busy this week as the down times are what get to me.

Right after mommy died and her body was removed we also had the hospital bed and potty/shower chair taken away, leaving her room empty. An empty room somehow seemed better to me than an empty bed. As I write this I realize how empty my heart is... The girls came back into the house and the very first thing that they asked when they saw the somewhat empty room was "Can we sleep in mommy's room tonight?" They ended up changing their mind and sleeping in grandma's motorhome that first night but they have slept in mommy's room on their sleeping bags and mattresses ever since:



We are working on getting away for a while and I am not sure whether I will be blogging about our adventures as I am not sure whether we are going to have adventures, quiet time, or a little of both. All I know is we are taking some time with just the girls and I to figure out who we are as a family. Will just have to let you know.

Home

12:23 PM. Frances has gone home with Jesus. Thank you for you loving emails and posts. The last thing she did before going to sleep was to read through them all and remark how many wonderful people there were out there.

Thank you

I want to say thank you all for the nice things that you have said about me, whether by the blog, by email or in person. Many of you have told about memories you have of me. Some I remember quite well and others definitely sound like me. I am surprised at how many people look up to me. I feel that I am not worthy of all the praise. The praise belongs to God. I try to follow Christ's example and His teachings. I see myself as a simple woman who tries her best to love her God, her husband, her children and the rest of her family and friends. If everybody did that, what a beautiful world it would be.

Heavenly Father, thank you for all the wonderful things that you have given to me and the ways that you have shown to me. Thank you for molding me into the person that you wanted me to be. May these words that I have written be read by the people that you know need to hear it. Amen.

I am often asked "What can I do for you?"

These words come from God Almighty who pressed them on my heart several times until I finally understood what I was supposed to do with them by typing them up so many could read them. It is by God's strength and mercy that I am able to write these words for you. I am a humble faithful woman. The praise and glory belongs to God.

Many people have asked me if they can do anything for me. I often suggest that they can pray for me and my family and continue to care for my family once I go to heaven. While prayer and care are very needed, it is even more important that you believe and trust in Jesus Christ as your Saviour and friend.

If you have this faith then I will be happy to greet you some day in heaven. I suggest that you search your heart and determine whether you should be doing more. I regret that I have not done more to spread the good news that Christ has died that we might be saved.

If you do not have this faith then it is very important that you attend church regularly, pray to God for His guidance and read your bible regularly so that you can learn about God and come to know him and ultimately come to accept Christ as your Saviour understanding that He took the burden for your sin as well as mine on the cross where He died. Continue then to learn even more about God and teach your children about Him. I hope to see all of you in heaven but the only way to get there is through Jesus Christ. You can come to Christ at any time; you do not have to clean yourself up first. He accepts you as you are. Once saved all God sees is that Christ has covered your sin with His own blood. Praise God!

Vehicles

Very few vehicles have their own personality to me; most are just utilitarian.

A while back I posted a note on Facebook about taking a ride with Guy in our wheel chair van. He and I went for a drive and I talked to him and he listened patiently while I rambled on. It was Guy’s family has graciously sold us his van to use with Frances’ wheel chair. We’ve used it for a year and half, but it is still Guy’s van.

When we moved home to Oregon we sold Frances’ bike to her brother. But it is and always will be Frances’ bike. She road all over the east coast with me, many thousands of miles. I can’t count the memories that we have together because of riding.

Last night that bike came home. It rode in at 10:00pm and I knew the sound without getting up. It seems weird but I felt it as it drove up on our property. Looking at it out in the field without another bike around it, without our little trailer around it, without a tent around it, it seems lonely, very lonely. It seems that, like me, it is crying. What it really is, though, is waiting for a rider that will never come.

Rainbows

Tonight, for the first night but not the last, I had a little girl completely unable to go to sleep. She didn't leave her bed though, her sister did. Rebekah came out to me in the family room and in a kind, mothering voice that is common from Rebekah she said "Sarah not happy..."

I went and got Sarah and asked what was wrong. "I'm sad." she said. When asked about what she replied "About mommy leaving us." She asked if she could come sit on my lap. I told her that she sure could but we'd do it in mommy's room and she could talk with mommy about what she was said. "I don't want you to go." was all that we could make out through the tears.

After a short while we were able to talk to Sarah about heaven and about all the rainbow's that she thinks are in heaven. She was able to tell us about that special rainbow that mommy will be sitting under. She was able to tell us that rainbows are a gift from God and now they will be from mommy in heaven too. I asked her if we would go looking for rainbows and she told me "You don't look for rainbows daddy, they are just there." She explained to us the drawing that she made for mommy today with a rainbow made to look like a tent, holding the words "I Love You Mommy."

Tonight we were able to share the tears and hugs with mommy. In a few more nights that won't be possible. Even though it is only days away that is very hard to imagine. When I put her back to bed Sarah asked for her own box of kleenex in her bed; I gave it to her. I think I need to get one for me too.

Hospice

This week we switched to Hospice. We met with most of our team the end of last week and with the kiddo counselor, Michelle, earlier this week. They are an awesome team. As we shared in a previous post, the nurse Trisha is a nurse that treated us in the hospital when Rebekah was sick and remembered us well - like most nurse that have the fortune/unfortune? of dealing with us. She is SPECTACULAR and just having her here a couple of times this week has been great. We have also had a bath (and will have another tonight) with the new bath aide Teena. Although we miss our previous care team greatly, these gals have been great and already I can tell that bringing them on is indeed a huge blessing.

So far Michelle, the kiddo counselor, has met with girls 5 times over 4 days. They are all hitting it off very well and the girls are opening up to her well. This was a concern in the short time they have before mommy's death but is working out as good as can be. They are playing with her, talking with her, listening to her and getting a lot out of it. We too are getting a lot of comfort after watching Michelle with the girls and talking to her afterward.

The big boy and girl counselor, Melodie has also been great. Last night Melodie met with about 15 people who were either family or frequent care givers to answer questions, give a time to share, vent or ??? We spent about an hour and half together and it was good. It was hard for mommy to have this going on out in the living room while she remained in her bedroom just watching on the security camera, but watching all of life go on like that has been hard.

Yesterday morning Trish, Melodie, mommy and daddy all met and did a conference call with the doctor over seeing the end of things. Dr. Louis Libby from the Oregon Clinic is spectacular and we couldn't be blessed more. He is working well with all of us to make sure that mommy's hopes and desires for her last days are being met and that she will be able to go off to heaven peacefully next Tuesday.

Only mommy knows for certain, but the rest of us can try to imagine how hard it must be to make that decision to walk to God, knowing all the glory that is there, but at the same time knowing that this means leaving the earth and your family behind. It's okay mommy, we love you and always will. It will be tough, sad and a lot of other things, but you have prepared us well. It's okay to go. We will be okay. We love you.

What Do I Believe Heaven Is Like?

Heaven is dwelling with God.

I believe that there are two heavens that are talked about in the Bible. One heaven is the new heaven and new earth that will be created after the thousand year reign. The other heaven is the heaven that exists now - an intermediate heaven. This intermediate heaven is where Jesus took the thief on the cross next to him who asked for forgiveness as well as all of the true believers since his death on the cross.

I believe it is a most beautiful place far beyond what we can imagine. And Jesus himself has prepared a place for me. I will have a new body free from pain and disability. I will be with my heavenly father and that will be wonderful. And i expect to be able to watch Scott and the girls from heaven.

I don't believe that i will become an angel as many people seem to believe. I believe that God made angels and he made people and they are two distinct groups. I will be able to see family and friends who had a saving faith and who died before me. And I may be able to see those who have gone to hell because they rejected God.

I believe that I will be able to stand in God's presence and make requests for those who are still living on earth. I will be able to sing and dance and praise God. I will be waiting for Scott and the girls and other loved ones to join me in heaven at their appointed time.

Advice.

More of Frances' words, typed letter by letter chosen by her eyes on a computer screen in front of her as her last days on earth come close to an end.

A young lady asked if I had any advice to pass on. I gave her some, but after talking to her I have thought more about it. I thought you might like to hear some of it too.

When looking for a partner, find someone with the same religious beliefs as you have. Also you want to find someone who likes many of the same things that you do whether it be playing the same games, watching sports, travel wishes, etc... Make sure that your thoughts about children are similar and think about adoption as a way to build a family in addition to biological children.

Once you have married, be sure to spend time together doing the things you both enjoy. Take an interest in the other things that your spouse enjoys as that may make your bond stronger.

Women, respect your husband. To the best of your ability keep his name clean, honest, trustworthy and respected. When you are out in public, do not argue with him. When you speak about him, speak highly of him. Keep the disagreements, quarrels and frustration to yourself.

When it comes to children, think before speaking. If a child gets hurt, check out the situation to determine what needs to happen. Keep calm and the child will keep calm. Freak out and your child will freak out. Monitor a child's growth as far as the milestones. If your child is lagging behind talk to the pediatrician about it. It may be best to get some professional help for the situation.

Spend time with your children; have fun with them, teach them to enjoy life, teach them manners as well as consequences. Be consistent in your teaching and training and both parents should use the same form of training. If your child is sick they still need discipline.

Be involved in your children's school life. You can be a classroom helper, or check in with their teachers and make sure that your children are doing well in school. Make sure they get any homework completed and help them if necessary but don't do it for them.

As much as possible keep your children with you, especially from birth to kindergarten. If one of you can stay at home or work from home while caring for your children that is great. Find some family, friends or babysitters who you feel good about leaving your children with and spend some time with just your spouse.

Treasure the time you have with family and friends because you never know when tragedy might happen. Live each day searching for little or even big blessings. When someone lets you down give them the benefit of the doubt and don't just assume the worst.

Those are some of my thoughts. I hope that some of them may help some of you.

An Open Mic.

Not too many people have the opportunity to plan their own memorial service. And even fewer actually do so.

Frances and I are talking about her memorial service. I have asked her to plan it. This is odd but it will be very comforting to know that it was exactly what she wanted. At this point all we know (or think we know) is that we believe it will be at the church and with the pastor where (and by whom) we got married 20 years ago, Laurel Community Church outside Hillsboro, Oregon. We believe it will be August 27th 2011 at 10:00am. All are invited.

What I do know is that we will have a time for sharing. BUT - please don't wait until then to tell others what Frances means to you. Right now you have a very rare opportunity to share what Frances means to you WITH FRANCES. So many times I think, while listening at a memorial service, "I wonder did these people ever tell the deceased these things?" Now is your chance. PLEASE tell Frances what she means to you while she can still appreciate it.

The mic is open:

Memories, Dreams or ???

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night. I didn't want to, but I did. I wanted to immediately go back to sleep, back to the dream I was having, but I couldn't.

Frances has been wheelchair bound since last year. She has been bed bound since before January of this year. Her body hurts to be touched, to be moved. She cannot move anything but her eyes and a bit of her chin. Neither can she talk. No one has heard her voice since the she was put on a ventilator last September.

But last night I heard her voice. Last night I felt her touch. It was more than a dream and it was more than a memory, it was real. At least it was real to me. We were playing, touching and sharing. We were intimate in a way that we haven't been able to be for what seems like forever. For a brief period of time I had my wife back and then something had to wake me up and ruin it.

At least for a few more days we still spend time together and we still share. But it is not the same. I miss you honey. I love you. I know that all too soon I am going to miss you even more. But one thing is for certain, there is no way that I can love you any more.

Time is spinning down...

We met with a couple of workers from the local hospice team earlier this week. The choice to at least meet with them was made for us by a couple of our doctors who just assumed that we would want a referral to hospice. We have not been fond of doctors (or anyone else for that matter) making decisions about our care without consulting us and I think that is something that everyone in the medical system needs to work on. The patient is not just an inanimate object there for everyone to work on - the patient needs to be involved. Anyway...

We have been struggling with the fact that we love our current care team, especially our nurse and bath aide, and we will loose them if we go on hospice. The decision is made even more difficult in that our current care team has the skills and willingness to see us through to the end. The question really becomes does hospice have something to offer that justifies a change in team?

The hospice nurse that would be taking care of us is a nurse that took care of Rebekah 6 years ago when Rebekah was fighting cancer. She knows our family and she knows how strong of advocates we are. Not all providers are comfortable with that. And, like this nurse, most that have us as patients never forget us. In this case this nurse and we think the same way. Assuming we do switch she will be good. We received even more conformation about her when our current nurse told us today that he hired her when he worked for hospice and he is comfortable turning over Frances' care to her where he wouldn't be just anybody.

The key parts of hospice for us, besides the nurse, our the counselors. Our current team has a counselor but she has not really been involved that much. Not because she wasn't willing but more because she didn't push and we didn't ask. The hospice counselors on the other hand are more pushy and more focused on what we need right now; we like that. There are also separate counselors for the kids as for the adults.

We will only be with them a short time but switching is a decision that both Frances and I think is appropriate. It's just one of many decisions we have to make right now.

Telling the Girls

About a week after telling daddy and other family members, daddy and the girls came into mommy's room this last Sunday morning in order to share that mommy is dying with the girls for the first time. While there is lots to say about that morning, here are the words mommy "read" to the girls:

Rebekah and Sarah, mommy and daddy want to talk to you about some really big things. You have seen that mommy has lost her ability to do much of anything any more. Mommy has a disease called A L S. This disease has no cure which means that the doctors can't make it go away. The doctors can make some of the problems not be so bad. This is not a disease that you can get from me like a cold or cough. This is not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong to make this happen.

I love you both so much!

Mommy has been having more and more trouble with different things and I have been talking to God about it and how tired and hurting mommy is. He agrees with me that it is almost time for me to come to heaven with him and all the glory. This will mean that my body will die and i won't be here anymore. We have had a lot of good memories and you can treasure them in your heart. You can look up into the sky and talk to me and tell me about the things that are going on in your life.

Mommy is sad that she isn't able to stay here with you and daddy, but I will watch over you from heaven. It is okay to be sad for a little while but remember that mommy is in heaven without pain and able to walk again. Daddy and grandparents and aunts and uncles will be sad too. I want you to learn all that you can about Jesus and God and to love them and to want to follow their ways. Then someday a long time from now God will tell you that it is time for you to come to heaven and be with Jesus and me.

Sharing My Decision With Family

In trying to get the blog family caught up with our happenings we are condensing the last few weeks into a couple of days. After making her decision, mommy's next step was to tell daddy and others. Here is what she shared just before her birthday over the holiday weekend.

Here are my thoughts about death plans. I really don't like thinking about it or talking about it but have been thinking about it a lot lately. I am in a strange place: being on life support I can basically choose when to die. Physically it is getting harder and harder. Emotionally, it is getting harder and harder. I know that when my spirit leaves this world, that i will go to heaven free from pain and most importantly be with my lord and Savior.

My thought is that we remove life support sometime before the end of July. That morning i want the girls to each sit on my lap and hug them and tell them that it is time for mommy to go to heaven. I don't know if it's a good idea for them to see my body while i am dying or after. We can talk about this if you have other thoughts. After the girls have said their goodbyes then i want some time with just you. I think that you should have someone there with you for the first few hours while you are making the arrangements and until my body has been taken away. Scott, i really want you there by my side and holding my hand. I know that it will be tough on you and i want you to know that it is really important to me.

There are several reasons that I picked that time frame. First it gives the girls time to mourn before going back to school. Second it isn't super close to any immediate family member's birthday or our anniversary. I think it makes a good time for two girls, a mother and a mother-in-law and three nephews to mourn and hopefully by the time school starts they will be able to start school without constant tears and sadness. I know that for you especially and for many others there is no good time. I wish that i could find a better time, but there is no day that would be any better.

Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts...

We have been absent from the blog. Absent because it was hard to share what we were feeling. Absent because we have not known what or how to share. Over the next few days we will try and catch you up. And probably, though no promises, bring you on the last steps of this journey with us. Right now we will jump back about a week. As Frances was coming to terms with her thoughts, she wrote the following around the end of June. As you read this, keep in mind that she writes with a computer controlled by her eyes, clicking on each letter individually by blinking. A LOT of thought and time went into this. Hopefully it will help you understand how she came to this decision. Hopefully it will help you:

I spend a lot of time thinking about my life and my death. I am in a weird place. The only reason that I am alive is because of life support machines. I am secure in my faith. There was a time in college when I accepted Christ's death on the cross and the blood he shed as an atonement for my sin and I asked the Holy Spirit into my heart to work within me to guide me in the ways of God. I know that when my earthly body dies, I will be with Jesus and that will be in heaven. I can in effect choose when I want this body to die and get a new pain free body in heaven. But that is a difficult choice to make. There is a kind of constant turmoil in my heart and in my mind. When have I given my family enough of me? When have I endured enough pain? When is my job here on earth finished? What else do I need to do? What other life do I need to touch? When is the time that Jesus is calling me home?

I grieve over the milestones and such that the girls will not have Mommy with them. I wonder who will take my place when they get married, since no one is supposed to be seated after the mother of the bride has been seated and who will determine when to stand and when to sit since the people follow the mother of the bride. I wonder if I have passed this nasty disease's gene to either of my girls. And if so will there be a cure before they are diagnosed with it. And will they choose to be tested for the gene mutation before deciding to have children of their own.

Often it seems that the girls only come in to see me when they are told to and the adults only when they have to. Meanwhile the world and in many ways my family continues to go on with their lives. How much am I holding them back by continuing to live? At what point am I being a disservice?

So often I am left to my own thoughts and so often my eyes well up with tears and I can do nothing about it on my own.


Some of you may be wondering how I can be so sure. Let me tell you. I believe in the Bible and I see it as truth, I see it as applicable today and for many tomorrows.

"Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." John 3:36 (NIV) I do believe in Jesus Christ, God's son, therefore I will have eternal life.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14:1-3 (NIV) Jesus has promised that he is making a place for me in heaven. What a wonderful thing to contemplate!

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to be children of God - children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." John 1:12-13 (NIV) God is my father, but he does not take the place of my earthly father and they can both be called Daddy. Wow!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) When I trust in Jesus he will show me which way to go. There have been many times that he has guided me and at least once save my life. Quite a few years ago when we lived in Ohio, we took a trip to Watkins Glen, New York on our motorcycles for a rally. It was a long drive mostly on freeways and the last thirty miles or so on twisty backroads. Scott liked to take the twisty roads a little faster than I, so would be a little ahead of me. As I was driving through the corners, I started to feel that something was wrong with the shock. I might have figured that we could look at it when we got to camp where we knew there would be a repair shop, but i could tell that God was telling me that I needed to stop quickly to see what the problem was. So I told Scott that something was wrong and I needed to stop and check it out. He found a nice gravel lot and stopped and in a few minutes I pulled up next to him and turned the bike off. As soon as I got off the bike and took weight off the bike the bike fell onto the back wheel and the shock fell to the ground. The eye bolts were still connected to the bike but the main part of the shock was sheered off at both ends. Had I not stopped, it could have come out and probably caused me to crash and injured me or killed me. I thank God for his guidance.

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved him, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:9-11 (NIV) God loved me well before I was even born. I try to follow Christ's example by loving those around me. I am not perfect and do not always do the things I am supposed to do. Most importantly Christ took all of my sins on himself when he died on the cross. He paid the penalty for my sins. There is no greater love than that.

You may find this amazing; God loves you no matter how many sins you have committed or how long you have turned your back on him or how unworthy you feel. If you believe in Christ and the sacrifice he made on the cross for you and for me, then you can ask Jesus to be with you and ask him to forgive you for your sins and thank him for paying the price for your sins and ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart to guide you for the rest of your life.

Here is a simple prayer that you may use. "Dear Heavenly Father, I believe in your Son Jesus Christ. I am thankful for him having paid the price for my sins on the cross. Please send the Holy Spirit to dwell in my heart to guide me. I love you God. Amen" If you have said that prayer, the best way to get to know God is by reading his word, the Bible (I would start with Matthew), and attending a church regularly. Tell any Christian friends about your commitment to God and let them be excited with you. May you find peace from your Heavenly Father and joy for a lifetime of learning about God and his promises.

If this has made a difference in your life, we would love to hear about it! Following are some additional verses that are meaningful to me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him. John 3:36 (NIV)

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)

Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in us as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 (NIV)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:37-38 (NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)