Visit Rebekah's Page to get updates, read messages and send messages to Rebekah and her family through comments. This is a public "diary" of a family whose little girl started a battle with inoperable cancer in April 2005. In December 2007 our house burned down. And in September 2009 Mommy was diagnosed with a terminal disease (a genetic form of ALS) that took her to Heaven in July, 2011, leaving Daddy and two young girls to make it on their own. Over several years of ups and downs, you will get into our hearts, minds and souls as we share joys and sorrows. It can sometimes be very difficult to read. We hope it is also uplifting. Please find joy in what you read here.
____________________________________

Sunday, July 17, 2011



Advice.

More of Frances' words, typed letter by letter chosen by her eyes on a computer screen in front of her as her last days on earth come close to an end.

A young lady asked if I had any advice to pass on. I gave her some, but after talking to her I have thought more about it. I thought you might like to hear some of it too.

When looking for a partner, find someone with the same religious beliefs as you have. Also you want to find someone who likes many of the same things that you do whether it be playing the same games, watching sports, travel wishes, etc... Make sure that your thoughts about children are similar and think about adoption as a way to build a family in addition to biological children.

Once you have married, be sure to spend time together doing the things you both enjoy. Take an interest in the other things that your spouse enjoys as that may make your bond stronger.

Women, respect your husband. To the best of your ability keep his name clean, honest, trustworthy and respected. When you are out in public, do not argue with him. When you speak about him, speak highly of him. Keep the disagreements, quarrels and frustration to yourself.

When it comes to children, think before speaking. If a child gets hurt, check out the situation to determine what needs to happen. Keep calm and the child will keep calm. Freak out and your child will freak out. Monitor a child's growth as far as the milestones. If your child is lagging behind talk to the pediatrician about it. It may be best to get some professional help for the situation.

Spend time with your children; have fun with them, teach them to enjoy life, teach them manners as well as consequences. Be consistent in your teaching and training and both parents should use the same form of training. If your child is sick they still need discipline.

Be involved in your children's school life. You can be a classroom helper, or check in with their teachers and make sure that your children are doing well in school. Make sure they get any homework completed and help them if necessary but don't do it for them.

As much as possible keep your children with you, especially from birth to kindergarten. If one of you can stay at home or work from home while caring for your children that is great. Find some family, friends or babysitters who you feel good about leaving your children with and spend some time with just your spouse.

Treasure the time you have with family and friends because you never know when tragedy might happen. Live each day searching for little or even big blessings. When someone lets you down give them the benefit of the doubt and don't just assume the worst.

Those are some of my thoughts. I hope that some of them may help some of you.

11 Shared:

At Sunday, July 17, 2011 9:13:00 PM, Blogger Becky Left a thought...

Those are all so good. Scott has been so blessed to have such an honoring, patient wife and the girls too... patience, wisdom, and calm parenting methods. Thank you for sharing. Each character is so precious coming straight from your heart. They have a lot of weight with me.

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 12:54:00 AM, Anonymous Olivia Pothoff Left a thought...

Dear Frances,

It is past midnight, but I must take this chance to write you. We have never met, but I am blessed and inspired by you. I came across your blog and your story today through a link from Kara Chupp's blog.

I know and love Jesus, am a wife, and a mother of 3 little girls. So my heart grieves with you and my eyes fill with tears now as I read about the trials your family is enduring.

The other day, I was thinking about how our life on this earth is a vapor and I decided to blow on my bathroom mirror after I got our of the shower to see just how long a "vapor" would last. It disappeared in a few seconds. And in that moment as I watched it disappear, I thought, "that is about how long we have on earth in the scope of eternity."

I am SO, so grateful that you and I will have eternity with Jesus. I'm grateful that I will get to meet you there and hear about your story. His story.

Jesus has been longing to be with you face to face as a bridegroom longs to be with His bride. To pull the veil back and look you in the eyes.

I am praying for you, your sweet little girls and for your loving husband.

As I read the words you have so patiently typed with your eyes, I see the word "RESILIENT" as the title of this chapter in your life, and see you crossing the biggest finish line--one we all will cross...

Frances, know that you have "fought the good fight, kept the faith, and finished the race." You have lived a resilient life.

May you have peace tonight, and all your tomorrows with Him.

With love,
Your friend & sister in the Lord,
~Olivia Pothoff

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 3:33:00 AM, Blogger Debbie Left a thought...

Dear Frances,

What beautiful words! I wrote a letter to my son and future daughter-in-law when they became engaged that contained many of the same ideas. I especially like the part about being respectful of one's husband. I think it is so sad that people seem to think it's the norm to talk poorly of their spouse.

Thank you for sharing these thoughts. They're a wonderful reminder to all of us and I know will be treasured by two little girls as they become young women.

You are an amazing person and I am blessed to have been able to know you even a little.

Debbie

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 7:52:00 AM, Blogger Rebekah Christine Left a thought...

I normally don't comment directly on Frances' posts but with this one I feel I should.

I did not know Frances was writing this until she brought me to the draft. She embodies every word she wrote here, and more. I have been so blessed.

During our time together Frances could easily have said "You go have your guy time and you do your things as I do mine." But she didn't. When I got into Firefighting/EMT work Frances was right there by my side and became certified as an EMT and maintained that certification for many years, using her certification for many public service events even though she never was employed in that field. She also learned to ride a motorcycle and rode with me up and down the east coast for many years and miles, attending rallies and camping out on or own. We got our amateur radio (HAM) licenses together and used them for many many public service events - together.

Just about everything we did was together. I agree with her, marriage is about being one not about being two different people that just happen to come home to the same house every night after doing their separate things.

Yes, I truly have been blessed by an awesome wife and an awesome marriage. I guess that's what happens when you have an Awesome God.

-Scott (Daddy)

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 8:59:00 AM, Blogger Kara Left a thought...

Frances...thank you so much for sharing this...

Just want you to know that your words carry much weight with me.
I especially appreciate your heart for marriage and your husband...what you have shared here.

Your heart for the Lord and love for your Soctt and the kiddos is beautiful...

I read every bit of what you write...thinking of the patience even just the typing process takes...and the generosity behind sharing your heart so openly as you cling to Him through this time...

As always, heart aching for you...

But, thank you.
Love,
k

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 9:12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Left a thought...

Dear Frances,

Thank you for taking the time and effort to type this post. It is so full of wisdom and love. Your husband is a blessed man to have a wife like you. Please know your words will live on when you have gone home to our Heavenly Father.

I found your blog a few days ago. I have learned so much from you. God bless you and keep you.

I only say a humble thank you for sharing your life.

Tess

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 9:54:00 AM, Anonymous Teresa Mathia Left a thought...

Thank you again Frances and Scott. Frances, thank you for continuing to share and give insight. It is amazing how God will use us in any circumstances, if we are just willing. You have continued to love and serve your God,your family and your friends. We all are blessed by it.This scripture came to mind for you today, and I personalized for you.

2Tim.4:6
6 For you Frances, already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time is here for your departure. 7 You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for you the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to you on that day -- and not only to you, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

Blessings my dear sister in Christ,
Teresa Mathia

 
At Monday, July 18, 2011 11:42:00 PM, Anonymous Ann Boyd Left a thought...

I don't write as beautiful as you and Scott or your friends. I don't think I have any Bible verses in me to share right now. Please remember each word is written with love.
I have watched you not from a baby but from a beautiful young girl, grow into a beautiful woman with 2 beautiful girls of your own. This I have found to be a special gift to me.
I find it easier to sit next to you and talk about the weather or everyday things that are going on or what is on TV, than to tell you what is in my heart. Even now my eyes are leaking and seeing to write this is very hard. My heart is breaking and then only emotions come out, instead of words. I want to cry on the inside and be strong for you, Scott, and the girls on the outside. Mourning is for later. And when that stage is over my mom always told me that "life goes on and to move forward".
Your dad, grandparents, and I believe that my mom and dad will all be there to great you and to guide you on this journey.
Thank you for asking me to help. With every treatment, every chance to warm you with a blanket or two, I have said “ I love you” with actions instead of words. I understand that you, like all of us need to hear these words. But every time I try to say it, my eyes start leaking and I want to be strong and the words get stuck in my throat but are always in my heart.
There is no end to this life. “Because the journey continues.” It is just less with us and more with Our Lord.
Ann B.

 
At Tuesday, July 19, 2011 12:19:00 AM, Anonymous Joe Boyd Left a thought...

Frances
When I first met you, you got in my face about how I was talking to Betty (your mom) I was thinking who is this person telling me how to talk to a friend of mine. I found out later who you were and even though I was impressed that you were standing up for your mom, I was also amused by you. Later when Ann and I were driving home I related this to her. I then got chewed out by her.
We have not always seen eye to eye on things but you have impressed me to no end. The amount of time that you spent with Rebekah in the hospital would have tried anyone but you kept the faith and you also let us and the world know what was going on by this blog.
You have also faced this disease head on. Even though you were in pain you still went back east to be become part of a study of an untried drug, so that maybe a cure can be found for this thief of life.
Thank you for your patience in teaching me how to play pinnacle, you were always calm and patient with me in my stupid mistakes. I have learned a lot from you in this game.
I hope you can forgive me for the times I screwed up caring for you. And the times that I caused you pain. My heart has always been in the right spot but like I told you one night I’m a klutz.
Frances I made a promise to you and Scott from the beginning of this journey that I would help in any way I could, My promise still stands, Ann and I will continue to help Scott and the girls for as long as we can and in any way we can.
Frances
Thank you for touching my life. I will never forget.
Peace Be With You
And may the Lord, Bless and keep you forever.
Joe

 
At Tuesday, July 19, 2011 5:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Left a thought...

Thank you Frances. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and advice. I truly appreciate it.
Kelli Whisenhunt

 
At Wednesday, July 20, 2011 7:43:00 PM, Blogger Deb Left a thought...

Thank you for the reminders Frances...and still, you are teaching me. Hugs...

 

Post a Comment


Thank you from Rebekah...

Back to Rebekahs home page...