Visit Rebekah's Page to get updates, read messages and send messages to Rebekah and her family through comments. This is a public "diary" of a family whose little girl started a battle with inoperable cancer in April 2005. In December 2007 our house burned down. And in September 2009 Mommy was diagnosed with a terminal disease (a genetic form of ALS) that took her to Heaven in July, 2011, leaving Daddy and two young girls to make it on their own. Over several years of ups and downs, you will get into our hearts, minds and souls as we share joys and sorrows. It can sometimes be very difficult to read. We hope it is also uplifting. Please find joy in what you read here.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Wedding Program

A few people have asked for a copy of the wedding program to be posted. Since it was in print format I have included the two files here but you will have to use your imagination to see the front/back/inside in the right order as it was when printed and folded. You should be able to click on each image to make it bigger.


Monday, March 19, 2012

The Chuppies: And Then I Started Crying

This is a reprint of a post written about attending our wedding by a wonderful friend. You can find the original here:

And Then I Started Crying...

Really there was no

I started crying even before the wedding started.

Because he, the groom...
He is special to us for many reasons.
First--he was our lawyer for both adoptions.
But with Selah's,
He cleared the courts and had her adoption finalized--
On the day she died.
He cleared the courts and had her adoption finalized--
And had the papers delivered to the hospital just minutes before...
And so she died with our last name--
Officially our baby.

And because he, the groom...
We knew him when his youngest daughter battled cancer.
We knew him when his house burned down.
We knew him when his sweet wife Frances died.
We wept with him at her memorial.
As he held his two girls hurting...

Though we don't know him deeply,
We've felt his hurting deeply--
This man whose heart has carried much pain.
Who was there with us--
When our hearts were drowning in love-pain-love-lost.

And because her, his bride...
I remember the first time I met her,
She was wearing a beautiful hat,
And she told me of her young husband's death,
As she held the hands of her two sweet girls...
One just only four years and the other not even two.

She moved to our area and to our church and in the seven years I've barely known her,
Not a mention of a man.
Just a mama trying to live godly--
Clinging to the only Father
She could offer to her girls.

And in the fall...
When the pain was still so deep,
He, the groom, was praying for God's guidance.
And she, the bride, was seeking God's wisdom.
And he met her.
And though the timing defied everything sensible from the world's dictation,
God often chooses His time--
Over ours.
So it made sense.
So much sense.

And it was just this Saturday--
When they were wed...
Two hearts knowing hurt.
Two hearts knowing grief.
Two hearts knowing what 1 Corinthians love really is...
They were married by the pastor.
And then their four girls were joined in family by the adoption judge who is our judge.
Our Selah and Lydia judge.
And I wept.
And it was beautiful.

Because only God can draw such beauty
From a pool of pain.
And God's goodness is so evident in this union--
A union of love's redemption.
Because only He can make things this beautiful...
And only--
In His time.

*Scott and Tia...thank you for letting me share your beautiful-God-written-story-of-love.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Day Like One Other

Today I awoke in a house empty except for me and my emotions. In retrospect it is a very full house. Today is my wedding day. I have only ever said that one time before in my life and I can't help but compare the days. Although they do not seem specific, it is pretty clear where my emotions are coming from.

Like today, I woke early 21 years ago with a strong burning to get to the church to take care of those last minute touches so my beautiful bride could have a perfect wedding. This time the players have changed, most of them anyway, but the feelings are remarkably similar. 21 years ago Daryl stood by my side and his wife Ginger took care of me. Today Blair will be standing by my side and his wife Jenelle has taken care of us so well for so long. Yet Daryl and Ginger are still there and I cherish seeing their name on the RSVP list. My new brother in law Chuck stood on the altar with me then and he will be ushering people in today. My new mother in law Betty lit candles on the bride's side then and she will be lighting candles on my side today while my second new mother in law Terri lights them on the bride's side. Pastor Mike married me 21 years ago and today he and Marilyn will be traveling all the way across the state to join us; two more names I cherished to see on the list.

There are many similarities between today, yet there are obviously many differences.

What I can't decide is which category the most important lady of the day falls into. 21 years ago I married my best friend and a woman who would obviously be a wonderful Godly wife. And today I am doing the same. God gave me the most wonderful gift a man could ever have with Frances and we had 20 years of joyful marriage together before ALS took her away. She gave me two beautiful little girls who mean the world to me. Today I am marrying Tia who is also the most wonderful gift a man could ever have. She is also giving me two beautiful little girls who mean the world to me. And with her I look forward to as many joyful years of marriage as God will allow.

Throughout our marriage I believed that there was no way there could be anyone as wonderful for me as Frances. After her death I did not believe it could be possible to find someone who melded with me so well to complete one whole. Since God brought Tia into my life I cannot imagine what life would be like without her. I am a different me than I was 21 years ago and I am a different part of the whole. Tia melds so well with the different me, creating a different whole. Different but the same.

I can't believe how blessed I have been in my life. I can't believe what a wonderful life God has given. Please be rejoicing in prayer for me, Tia, Sydney, Rebekah, Katey and Sarah as we make this... a day like one other...


Friday, February 10, 2012

I Played With Mommy Frances

Every morning we fill out an "All About My Night" sheet for Rebekah to take to school to help with communication - so the teachers will have some context in what she is trying to say. Part of that is to answer the question "My favorite part was..."

This morning Rebekah was trying to write out the answer herself. When asked what she was writing she kept repeating "I played with mommy Frances." She was very very happy. With a lot more questioning she relayed that she played with mommy in her bed all night long. She didn't "think" about mommy, she PLAYED with her. What a delightful night she must have had.


Thursday, January 26, 2012

"Daddy Come Quick! Help!"

These are words, being shouted with concern/fear from the bathroom, that this single dad of two little girls dreaded to hear. Even though my girls are prepubescent and barely pubescent these words still freaked me out.

Running to the bathroom...well okay, walking and taking as much time as I can very afraid of what I am going to find...I am thinking to myself "Oh please let it be an overflowing toilet, a flood from the sink or anything else but THAT!" In the steps from the kitchen to the bathroom I'm asking myself "Do I have what I need in the house?" and "How do I calm her understandable fears?" As I take the last few steps I understand that yes, I can deal with this.

Pushing the door open I can finally breathe again when she asks me to help hang the robe hooks back over the top of the door as it had slipped off one side. Thank you God for very small but wonderfully relieving blessings! Please have a good day; I know I will because no matter what happens it has definitely started out better than it could have!!!


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Wedding Invitation

Many of you know that I proposed to Tia and the girls on December 26th, 2011. Since that time we have been spending a lot of time together as we start to blend our two families into one. Tia and I are learning so much about each other and loving every moment of it. The girls are getting along, well, like sisters. We could not be more blessed.

Rebekah and Sarah are desperately in need of a "mommy" to help raise them and Sydney and Katey need the same thing in a "daddy." Tia has been alone (7 years since Jeff died) a lot longer than I have but Frances' illness plays into my lonliness as well. Each of us had a wonderful life with our previous spouses are we are looking forward to having a best friend and spouse next to our side again. Every day that goes by I am excited more and more about being back to having a "normal" family. We are not sure that what we have been through will ever allow us to be "normal" but we are hoping. And yes, Tia has been informed of how scary it can be to be a part of the Adams household - and she is willing to marry me anyway!

You can read more about our story and our wedding at and we would absolutely love for you to be there. Please feel free to leave comments in the guestbook section and RSVP if you can make it!


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Enjoying Our Break - A Few Pictures

Yes, we are enjoying our time at Tia's father's home in Montana. Here are a few pictures and a video (working on the video) for you to enjoy too: The beautiful Miss Tia: And me with the kiddos in the background: Sharing the path with the fawna:


Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Not My Plans Nor My Timing, But His.

I awoke this morning in a third story bedroom of a rustic open beamed, wood everywhere home. As I opened my blinds I looked out to a beautiful layer of white snow covering the ground and the high desert pines that only somewhat blocked my view of an ice covered river. Outside my window was one small deer, casually foraging from bush to bush trying to find her breakfast in this wonderful area God created and we call Montana.

But even more beautiful than the view and the home are its occupants. Last night Tia, Sydney, Rebekah, Katey, Sarah and I arrived in the home of Tia's father, Grandpa Kim and his wife Grandma Marian. We arrived after dark but the beauty of the place, outside and in, was still evident. We had new family introductions, a lovingly prepared dinner waiting for us, and then brought in bags. The adults got to know each other while the kids played outside in the snow and throughout their temporary cabin like accommodations.

We had come to get to know more of Tia's family. But I also had another purpose. Short one 15 second phone call on the way here yesterday, I have never spoken with Grandpa Kim since I started courting Tia. I had felt remiss about starting our courtship without seeking the wisdom (and permission) of her father. When I formally asked Tia's permission to court her I promised her I would not take any further steps with her without seeking her father's permission. I had planned, after spending the week getting to know them, to ask Grandpa Kim for Tia's hand in marriage. But like many...most...all other things in our growing relationship, God had other timing in mind. After sharing most (not even all) of our story with him Grandpa Kim blurted out 'What are we waiting for, when are you going to marry this girl?'

Not shocked, but taken aback I was. And yes, I believe Tia was a bit too. After having my time schedule changed on me and getting my senses together I shared with him that this was something I wanted to talk with him about. In the middle of this Tia went upstairs to help the girls with some "emergency." After a few more minutes of conversation I knew for sure that we had Grandpa Kim's blessing. While she was still upstairs I went out to the van and brought in some more things, actually just one more thing. It was something that I had not planned on needing until after the new year, or maybe new year's eve. But again, God's timing is a bit different than mine on this whole thing.

When Tia came downstairs with the girls I asked them all over to the table where Grandma, Grandpa and I were sitting. As she sat down I dropped to one knee in front of her and said "Tia, I have spoken with our children and have their blessing. I have spoken with your father and have his blessing. I love you will all of my heart." Then, for the second time in my life (excepting for practice of course,) I uttered the words "Will you marry me?" Through tears of joy and just a bit more shock, she answered "Yes!" We then proceeded out into the snow and danced our first dance as an engaged couple on a snow covered dance ring prepared by the girls just outside the dining room window. As we held each other and danced to the music of our hearts, Grandpa and Grandma shined a "spotlight" on us while they watched from inside.

Proud doesn't even do justice to the feeling I have as I announce that on March 17th 2012, Tia Bacon and Scott Adams will become one in the eyes of God and man. We hope you will reserve the date and join us at Southwest Bible Church in Beaverton, Oregon on that glorious day.


Friday, December 16, 2011

The Power In Choosing A Name

In Genesis God gave Adam the power to name the creatures of the earth as they were created. The act of naming something creates a huge tie to that something. There was (and is) great significance to that power, a significance we don't think about that often.

For those of you that don't know me that well I will share something about me. I have a thing for crock pots. I have more than a few of them. I like what they stand for and I love what they do. They are SO practical. As the "potluck season" continues on I use my crock pots A LOT.

Earlier this week our Bible Study had a pot luck dinner in lieu of our regular Wednesday night study. As I brought out one of my favorite crock pots I noticed it had a label, a name if you will. The label on it read "Scott and Frances Adams". As we were going to Tia's chuch and almost no one there knows Frances (or me by that combination of names) it didn't seem right to leave that label on it. I took that label off and left the crock pot unnamed. Much like how my life felt after Frances left, without a label that crock pot seemed empty, lonely.

This morning as I am preparing for another potluck it continued to bother me to have an unnamed crock pot. I started a couple of labels: "Scott Adams" or "Scott, Rebekah and Sarah" but those didn't seem right either. Ultimately I found a comfort, a power in the final result:

The power of naming this crock pot is not in my dominion over the item, but rather in the realization of its representation of the stages in our life. There is greif in the daily realizations that 20+ years of "Scott and Frances Adams" have come to an end. But there is also great delight in the new season called "Scott Adams and Tia Bacon." There is great delight in the gift God has given me in Tia and the girls. Seeing it on a label may be a little thing, but it is real. And it is real powerful to my heart.


Saturday, December 10, 2011

A New Normal - Or Just Normal?

After Frances made the decision to go Home to God this summer I found myself talking to others about our plans. We knew we would take our several week vacation and then come back home, start school and get down to the new "normal" with just the three of us. With Frances being incapacitated and bed bound for so long, so many people in and out of our lives and house, sleeping in motorhomes, camping trailers, the couch, the playroom etc. we had not had a traditionally family in so long and I never expected one again for a long time. It is often said that the Adams' don't do things in a normal way!

I had actually forgotten what it was like to have a traditionally normal family - until last night.

I came home from a long day in court; in another state even. When I walked in the door I was greeted to a chorus of "Daddy's home!" "Your Daddy's home!" and "Welcome home handsome!" I received hugs and kisses (on the cheek!) For the next several hours I watched 5 beautiful girls clean up around the house, fold laundry, act like sisters, and do some schooling/educating along the way. It was emotional. In fact writing about it now is emotional.

Last night the girls went to the playroom to watch a kiddo movie and Tia and I stayed out in the family room watching a sappy love story - which I kinda liked. The girls (all except Tia who went home as modesty and appropriateness are very important to us) all stayed the night. This morning Tia is on her way back over to have breakfast with us and get ready for Rebekah's birthday party this afternoon.

It has been so long that I actually think I had forgotten what traditionally normal feels like. We have been through so many "new normals" that I had actually forgotten how good it feels. Very very good. Whatever our "new normal" has been at any given time over the last few years I have tried to delight in the place God had put us. I have to admit that the newest "new normal," the one I just want to call normal, is one of the biggest blessings God could ever have given all of us. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Another News Story

This appeared in the Hillsboro Argus, a local bi-weekly newspaper, yesterday. I was interviewed several weeks ago. While a good story, I am a bit disappointed in the focus. I was supposed to have been interviewed for a story about Hospice and I think the story came out a bit too focused on us. I hope the importance of Hospice really shines through:

A family's long, arduous journey
Published: Tuesday, November 29, 2011, 9:50 AM

MANNING — Scott Adams and his family have traveled a long and difficult path since 2005.

His oldest daughter, Rebekah, was born with cerebral palsy. When she was just three, she was diagnosed with Ewing’s sarcoma, an inoperable cancer in her face and neck. She spent a year in the hospital fighting for her life. And winning. Rebekah is cancer-free.

That, however, is just the beginning of the family’s journey.

In 2007, their home in Manning burned down. They rebuilt.

Then in September 2009, Scott’s wife, Frances, was diagnosed with a genetic form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis — Lou Gehrig’s disease.

Frances’ father, Charles Mickley, died of ALS in 1999, so Scott and Frances had a good idea of what lay ahead.

“Our motto,” after all that had already affected the family, “was ‘it’s just one more thing,’” Scott said. “After almost losing your child, it’s just one more thing.”

Genetic ALS debilitates the body quickly. After a diagnosis, Scott said, a person might have 7 to 11 months to live.

Within a year of diagnosis, Frances went on life support.

“She would have died in September 2010 without a ventilator,” Scott said. She wanted to see her daughters grow.

ALS affects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, causing a loss of voluntary muscle movement and control. Bedridden, Frances had control of only her eyes. She was able to communicate her wishes through a device that allowed her to “type” with her eyes.

Scott had the help of many family members, including Frances’ younger cousin who came to live with the family and help care for the girls.

Scott had palliative care services to help with long-term care issues through the couple’s insurance company. He was able to continue his work as an adoption attorney from home.

In June of 2011, Frances decided to discontinue life support. With her death imminent, Scott decided to employ the services of Hospice and Palliative Care of Washington County.

Hospice, an independent nonprofit, started in Hillsboro in 1982 as an all-volunteer organization.

Scott said he asked himself, “Is there anything more we can do to prepare the girls?”

“There were no resources for a child who is losing a parent,” he said.

Hospice care provides a wide variety of services, both for the patients and for the patient’s family. Nurses help with pain management and a range of other medical necessities of a dying person.

Hospice counselors came to the house every day or every other day, and worked with Sarah and Rebekah through play therapy on “how to preserve the memories of mommy,” Scott said. Rainbows are now reminders to the girls of their mother.

There are also counselors who work with family members.

“Anyone who was a care provider or was important to Frances,” Scott said, “could talk with Hospice counselors.”

“They gave us control over her life and her death,” Scott said. “They were supportive of her decisions on how she wanted to end her life.”

Frances died in July. After her death, Hospice counselors continued visits with the girls. After a few months, the family transitioned to long-term grief care, with Hospice counselors pre-screening counselors outside of Hospice for the family.

“We’re doing really well,” Scott said. “Better than could ever be expected. There’s loneliness, the feeling of loss. But we were prepared for those times,” he said.

Kathy Fuller is a news reporter for the Hillsboro Argus. She can be reached at

Related topics: ALS, Ewing's sarcoma, palliative care

Click here for a direct link to the article.


Monday, November 28, 2011

The Illusive Art Of Laundry

Ok, maybe this isn't deep, emotional or an earth-shaking announcement (which apparently based on the lack of comments and surprisingly neither was my Thanksgiving Day post) but it is on my mind nonetheless.

Somewhere around my bachelor party some 20+ years ago I was educated that they way to get around laundry duties was to ruin everything every time you got near the laundry machine. Well, I didn't actually think that was the best way to run a marriage, at least not consciously. Apparently my subconscious at least took a partial liking to it as I pretty much did just that the first few years of our marriage. I remember a particularly sexy piece of red lingerie that Frances repeatedly wore as pink and splotchy because of one of my laundry mistakes...but I digress. I really didn't seek to be removed from laundry duty but it pretty much happened that way. I can count on my fingers the number of times I did laundry before Frances got sick.

Then in 2008 we got a new washer and dryer - one of the few benefits of your house burning down. I was actually prohibited by Frances from touching them. It ranked up there close to the 10 Commandments, well okay not really but the prohibition did begin with THOU SHALT NOT...and ended with TOUCH MY LAUNDRY MACHINES! That worked fine, at least from my view point, until France got sick. Once Frances got sick and wasn't physically able to do things like laundry I had a lot more duties. But my laundry duties were for a very limited time and really I wasn't allowed to think about what I was doing, but rather I was just the arms and legs for Frances; I did as I was specifically told. As Frances' illness progressed we got more and more help in the house and (insert LONG list of wonderful women who helped here) did laundry for us up until a month after Frances died and Jenny moved out.

For many months now I have been on my own, and thought I was doing okay. In fact I thought I was doing great. I knew a little about sorting, although apparently "light (weight) and heavy" (which is the way I did it) is not as good of sorting as "light (color) and dark." And I do have to admit that I to this date am perplexed that our new machine doesn't have a "permanent press" cycle like the old one did...but again I digress. I even received great inspiration from some friends up in Washington who both husband and wife told me with good detergent and good washers you just put in everything that can fit and wash it on "normal" and all will be fine. I more than thought I was doing great, I was satisfied!

All of this until a few weeks ago when good friend Pamela was emptying the dryer for me and I got a good schooling on tights, and dresses, and certain socks, and sweaters and...and...etc. etc. etc. that all had to have a special way of doing things. In Pamela's words, "READ THE LABEL!" Admittedly I had never read a label in clothing except to note the size. And then Tia got to the point in my life where she is showing me how to do things and now I have learned that even if the label says it can be done a certain way that I should know that is not necessarily the best way to do it. It was clear to Tia that my lack of understanding of the unspoken (and unwritten) rules of laundry are the reason that my daughter's clothes don't fit, fit funny, are the wrong color and probably the cause of world war although no one has yet blamed me for that.

So why exactly am I writing this? I don't know, maybe because I am doing laundry and needed to vent (pun intended.) Maybe it's because I am confused. But most likely it's because I am frustrated. How exactly does one acquire this "sense" of knowing what to do, when to follow the label, when the label is wrong etc? Why can't this just be simple?

Up next: The Iron - You Can Use It For More Than Waxing Skis!


Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thankful For Two...

Or is that 4? Or 6?

As my screensaver alternates between a picture of a beautiful mother and her two beautiful little girls to a picture of another beautiful mother and her two beautiful girls I realize that my heart is doing the same thing. There is a place in my heart for two mothers and four daughters. I would not have thought it so but God has a way of making things happen that we are surprised about.

I previously wrote: "I do not know how I go about finding the right person to do that but God does, and I am trying hard to put my faith in Him. I have written a lot about what I want in that person and may post that here another time, but for now I will say that my next wife will be for another life time and will affect not just my life but the girls’ as well. I want the decision as to who that will be to be a good one and not just an emotional one. But what I do know is that finding that person with all the insurmountable hurdles will be impossible by myself. God, are you listening?"

It's time to share with you that yes indeed, God was listening. Not only was He listening but He was also smiling as He already had a plan. A plan that I can now see He has been preparing for a while. One of these days I may bless you with ALL the ways that He prepared us for this but for the introductory purposes of this post let me be brief and hit some of the highlights.

Shortly after writing the above quote I gave my needs, desires, hopes, loneliness, feelings (or whatever else you want to call them) over to God, telling Him that I was giving up trying to do anything on my own. The next day I received a letter from a very Godly man giving me words that the Holy Spirit had shared with him, words saying that it was not good for man (or me) to be alone and that I would find someone. I think it also important to share that "Go find someone to love." is one of the very last things Frances said to me before she died. A few days after receiving the letter I was in the middle of a very hectic day when God very clearly ordered me to stop and have my wedding ring cut off. It would not come off on its own and I hadn't emotionally been able to cut it off. That day I still didn't want to yet was obedient to do so against my own comfort level. God was preparing me even when I didn't want to be prepared. (Again, there is so much more depth here but these are the highlights!)

The very next day I made a phone call to Tia. I had communicated with her a few times over face book at the request of a very close friend and colleague but had not really hit it off. In fact I was calling her that evening to apologize for my rudeness in not getting back to her and to explain to her that I was not interested in any relationship with anyone at that point. God, however, had other plans as that first phone call between Tia and I lasted 7 hours. And it has just gotten better from there.

Tia was widowed 6 years ago and has two little girls, Sydney and Katelyn that are just as beautiful as Rebekah and Sarah. Each of her girls are just about 18 months older than mine and wonderfully polite, spunky and smart! Tia is a highly respected member and ministry leader in her church and in "researching" her the common descriptive phrase I hear about her is "she is one of the most Godly women I know." After spending some time with her I can echo that. They live about 20 miles from us. Tia is a Mary Kay consultant and home schools.

Only God knows where this is headed; He is being pretty strong about the leading and we are both trying to be cautious. Obviously the mere fact that I am sharing this here means something about the level of seriousness between us. We have committed to building our relationship with behavior that is public and God honoring. We are spending lots of time together doing that and are excited. I guess it can be summed up with this: When asking Sydney whether it was okay that I was taking lots of her momma's time she replied "Momma is happy when she is talking to you." And last night on my face book a friend posted "Yea! Scott's happy!!! A lot to be thankful for indeed!"


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Who is Rebekah?

I received this in a private message today. It touched me so much that I asked for permission to share it here:

Hi Scott,

Just a quick note to tell you a story that happened today. The kids and I were on our way to an appointment and Sierrah said out of the blue "You know what I like about Rebekkah?"

"What?" I asked.

"She is always happy, smiling and nice to everyone even though she lost her mom she is still so nice, I don't know if I would be that way." Wyatt [Sierrah's younger brother] agreed.

Just thought you should know your child inspired mine today.

Thank you Darcey. Thank you for sharing Rebekah's inspiration and providing us with a great blessing.