Sharing My Decision With Family
In trying to get the blog family caught up with our happenings we are condensing the last few weeks into a couple of days. After making her decision, mommy's next step was to tell daddy and others. Here is what she shared just before her birthday over the holiday weekend.
Here are my thoughts about death plans. I really don't like thinking about it or talking about it but have been thinking about it a lot lately. I am in a strange place: being on life support I can basically choose when to die. Physically it is getting harder and harder. Emotionally, it is getting harder and harder. I know that when my spirit leaves this world, that i will go to heaven free from pain and most importantly be with my lord and Savior.
My thought is that we remove life support sometime before the end of July. That morning i want the girls to each sit on my lap and hug them and tell them that it is time for mommy to go to heaven. I don't know if it's a good idea for them to see my body while i am dying or after. We can talk about this if you have other thoughts. After the girls have said their goodbyes then i want some time with just you. I think that you should have someone there with you for the first few hours while you are making the arrangements and until my body has been taken away. Scott, i really want you there by my side and holding my hand. I know that it will be tough on you and i want you to know that it is really important to me.
There are several reasons that I picked that time frame. First it gives the girls time to mourn before going back to school. Second it isn't super close to any immediate family member's birthday or our anniversary. I think it makes a good time for two girls, a mother and a mother-in-law and three nephews to mourn and hopefully by the time school starts they will be able to start school without constant tears and sadness. I know that for you especially and for many others there is no good time. I wish that i could find a better time, but there is no day that would be any better.
Share a thought or prayer: 15 Comments
15 Shared:
I don't have any words that will help any of this be easier. I just wanted you all to know that I am begging God to give all of you the strength and peace that you need in this time.
Thanks to you both for sharing. It certainly puts my life troubles in perspective. It's hard for me to imagine anyone going through something as difficult as you are without the hope of Jesus Christ? Frances, you're a beautiful woman and you will leave many cherished memories with your girls. I will be praying more than ever. Blessings to you both and Frances, could you hug Jesus for me? Love, Teri
Thank you for all that you are and all that you share.I don't know what else to say.
I love you guys!
Love,
Teresa Mathia
Thank you Frances and Scott for your candor throughout this journey. I know how difficult this decision is, as my Dad made it as well. ALS is surely an awful thing to endure, for the PALS and for family and friends. God bless each of you as you go through these days. They are so difficult, but I am so glad you will be together and that Frances, you will soon be in comfort in the arms of the Lord.
With love and prayers, Kayrin Perkins
Praying so much for you guys.. I have no words, nothing I know what to say. But I am sending you strength and love, and many many prayers
That's so powerful! Having just said my, "Goodbye" to Frances (which I'm not sure was all that well done), I cannot even imagine how hard this is for the two of you. My thoughts, prayers and heart are with you all.
Frances, your dignity and grace in all that you have endured are beyond inspiring. You have touched so many hearts, and you will leave an empty place in them. I hope that we can fill that place with love for our families and those around us. You are the second person I know to suffer this horrible fate in less than two years, and it has forever changed me. I wish you love, and a peaceful, painless journey.
-Andrea
Frances....I wish I had adequate words, but I do not. The Lord has used you so very mightily in my life - He has drawn me closer to His side as I've followed your journey and that of your precious family over the years. As difficult as this is, (and I can't begin to imagine...) the assurance that you have that you will be forever changed in the twinkling of an eye, I know brings great comfort to you and Scott, the girls and the rest of your family and loved ones. As I posted earlier somewhere - either here or on facebook - it will be but a minute that you are separated from your family...for what is this life, compared to all of eternity? I am praying for you continually - for grace and strength and peace...and for you to be surrounded by love as you spend these final days here. Know that there are many, many of my friends praying for you as well. ...the body of Christ, coming together on your behalf. I praise the Lord for having had the honor of knowing you...and look forward to a day when we can sit together in heaven and I can share with you the ways that your life, and the life of your family, has impacted me and mine. May God bless you - and keep you - and hold you close....Love, Deb
Goodbye, Dear Sister, but only for a short while. I look forward to meeting you in Heaven. You have personified grace, wisdom, courage, and love through all the places this life has brought you. I have been following your thoughts on this blog since 2005, when a dear friend (Deb) told me about Rebecca. I have mostly lurked here without comment, but trust me, your impact on my life was great. Your legacy will be just as great. Thank you for sharing your heart and your family through it all.
Scott, there is a special crown also for you and the girls.
It seems so trite to just say God bless you and I'll be praying for you but I really mean it.
Rest in Him, both here and in Heaven. Praise God for it is well with your soul. That reminds me of my favorite hymn "Just Over in the Glory Land". Never have I known anyone to blog about really going there. I just can't imagine, but you gave me a glimpse. Again, rest in Him, and thank you.
Scott, Frances, Rebekah and Sarah,
Thank you for sharing your family's journey in faith through ALS and Ewing's Sarcoma. I have known you since you lived in Ohio and adopted a kitten from us, and have followed your blog almost daily for years. I have prayed for Rebekah's healing, and now for your healing Frances. I truly wish it could have happened here.
You have lived an unbelievable life filled with courage, love and grace and have been an incredible wife and mother. I know death will not separate you from Scott and the girls and you will continue to be a part of their lives.
I pray the Lord holds all of you close as you make this decision and your suffering finally ends. I can't begin to tell you how much love and admiration I have for you and your family.
Until we are together again - thank you for being a part of my journey and for all that you have given me. Love you :)
Linda H Doylestown, Ohio
Frances -- There is a song that I would like for you to listen to - it's called "You are Mine" by David Haas and you can find it on YouTube. It's a beautiful song and I hope that it brings you comfort and strength and peace as you face this journey home to be with your Lord. I am holding all of you close in thought and prayer and love. Valerie
P.S. I just posted it over on my blog and dedicated it to you.
Valerie (and others). If you want Frances to go look at something you will need to email her a link as even typing out url's or googling something is very difficult for her. You can post a link here or you can send it to her gmail account which is francesadams@...
In agreement with many other comments.....see you later dear Frances when we both are dancing in Heaven.
I just want you to know that I think of you and your family often. I am so blessed to have gotten to know you and your family. You are an incredible women and I know that we will see each other some day. May God be with you during your journey.
Love and God Bless
Kimberlee Henderson and family
Few words. But many prayers. Frances, I will find you one day in heaven. You inspire me, and with the tears that come with your passing from this life to the next, I will also smile knowing you are in the presence of our God - whole and without pain!
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