Visit Rebekah's Page to get updates, read messages and send messages to Rebekah and her family through comments. This is a public "diary" of a family whose little girl started a battle with inoperable cancer in April 2005. In December 2007 our house burned down. And in September 2009 Mommy was diagnosed with a terminal disease (a genetic form of ALS) that took her to Heaven in July, 2011, leaving Daddy and two young girls to make it on their own. Over several years of ups and downs, you will get into our hearts, minds and souls as we share joys and sorrows. It can sometimes be very difficult to read. We hope it is also uplifting. Please find joy in what you read here.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Good Day, A Frustrating Day

This morning we woke up, had a fun breakfast with some special "mommy debbie" pancakes (which are pancake made into letters of the girls names:)

We also did some bike riding around our circle. Daddy was able to get a bit of work done while the girls rode.

Around noon we headed to Prineville to see relatives and had a good day with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Folks we don't get to see too often and we love it when we do.

We were also very frustrated today. I guess the only way to put it is that nothing hurts more than people letting you down after listening to them tell you how much they care about you. All around us people are saying "if you ever need anything let us know, we want to help..." Well, honestly I don't take that to heart any more and I let it go in one ear and out the other. Why? Because of days like today. We had some serious disappointment over here with the girls not getting to go horseback riding like they were invited to do and then later uninvited. Yes, things come up but its hard breaking little girls' hearts.

But even more so because Jenelle and Blair tried to put together a work party at our house today to clean things up and give us something nice to come home to. The last few months of Frances' life took everything out of us just to take care of the inside of the house. It was announced on my facebook to all my 337 "friends" (many of whom have often uttered those words described above.) It was announced to Jenelle's 276 friends. It was emailed to all the people in the last church we have been able to call our church before mommy got so bad that we couldn't go anymore. And who showed up? ONE person besides Jenelle and Blair. Thank you TRACE! It feels awfully lonely to ask for help from over 500 people and not have more than one show up.

But now maybe you will understand and forgive me when I just plain old don't believe you when you say "If you need anything..."

08/14/11 Edited To Add: Apparently a few of you have taken my frustrations expressed here personal. The odd thing to me is that I cannot imagine how anyone who actually has helped us could think that I was talking about them. Please let me clarify. My frustrations are only with those that utter those words that have become so difficult to hear "If you need anything..." and then disappear and will never help with anything.

There are A LOT of you that have helped and the vast majority of you have never offered those words, you have just helped. You are not the source of my frustrations. In fact, it's those like you that have made an unbearable situation bearable for us. I apologize to you if you somehow felt I was talking about you.

But the others, the only thing I have to suggest is if you don't mean the offer, don't make it. Repeatedly having people turn you down after offering "anything" is far worse than no offer being made in the first place.

1 Shared:

At Tuesday, August 16, 2011 2:29:00 PM, Blogger Eva Left a thought...

I'm sorry, Scott. I have experienced the same, though not in near as dire circumstances as you have faced lately. It's hard because it makes us cynical when people offer help, but yet ... there is reality. More recently, I have been pleasantly surprised to have some people actually step in and not just say they would. It's hard. No one wants to need to ask for help anyway. But it hurts so much when none is offered when it is needed. Due to my distance away I'm not personally in a good position to offer hands on help, but I do offer my prayers. And I do try to make myself available to others where I am. I'm sorry for the insult that's been added to your injury lately. :(


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