The End Is Not The End

Just received a phone call from mommy. Last night was a “difficult night” with throwing up, machines beeping, crabby girl(s?), poking nurses and who knows what else she didn’t say. She didn’t sound too rested. Rebekah, however, sounded rearing and ready to go. Wouldn’t that figure. I did get to talk with Rebekah on the phone and for the first time ever she put “bye bye” and “love you” together before she handed mommy back the phone.

Sitting here at the office while they are in the hospital is very difficult for me emotionally. On top of not being with them I am trying to get my office cleaned and organized and was looking for a photo album into which to put pictures that many of my families sent me over Christmas. I went to the house and looked for an “empty” with all of the family albums. Of course that started a trip down memory lane as I browsed all of them. It’s amazing “how long ago” the past seems and how fond I remember much of it but at the same time how unimportant it is compared to the here and now and the few precious moments we have with our children.

In my conversation with mommy she told me that the “post chemo scans” have been scheduled for the week of February 6th. This is really the first time since July that we will know whether all of this is doing any good. Actually we know it is doing good because Rebekah is still alive and there was a very large likelihood she would not be. We (or at least I) are/am scared to death about this. It’s almost like we are totally back at the beginning sitting on pins and needles wondering “What If…” I thought we would be excited to be done and now I am emotionally drained just thinking about it the last few minutes.

I hope the prayer requests are obvious.