Telling The Girls
The girls went to Grandma A's house last night for the evening and mommy and daddy went to Benihana's for dinner with some close friends Pat and Steve. This morning Grandma C came out and spent A LOT of time cleaning which was a great help. About 10:30 Grandma A brought the girls home and they played in the play room most of the afternoon.
They played while mommy and daddy got up their final nerve to talk to them. Just before dinner we brought them into the living room and told them about mommy being sick. We started with what they already knew, mommy's leg, and that it was not going to be getting better. Rebekah kept saying "mommy go boo boo hospital." We told them that mommy has als so that they would have a name for it. Sarah kept trying to say that als (daddy has decided that als doesn't deserve capital letters) was cancer. Our family may be a bit odd, but a just-turned-five year old should not have to even know about cancer. Rebekah kept saying "scooter help mommy." At first we couldn't understand her as "scooter" is a new word for her but she explained herself very well saying "scooter in back of van."
We talked about how some people would say that mommy was sick and some people would be sad when they talked with us. Then we told them that as mommy got sicker they would have to help out. They both wanted to know what they could do to help out and we explained that they were getting to be big girls now so more cleaning and taking care of their own things would be in order - they didn't seem to be so keen on that. We also talked about how mommy can't get into their playroom when it is a mess so they will have to keep it more clean. Finally we let them ask any questions they had (they really didn't have any) and explained to them that they could always ask any questions they had or tell us anything they were feeling.
Quite honestly it was far more difficult for mommy and daddy than it was for them. Obviously they aren't old enough to grasp loosing mommy; but at least for a very short while they don't have to.
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5 Shared:
I imagine it feels good (in a strange sort of way) to have that discussion behind you. There's simply not much to say.
Always here...
I've been reading and praying for you both. I don't know how the two of you are coping, you are an example for us all! Remember, I'm here a phone call away, and I can do meals, clean, etc. I am more than ready to help. I need to rely on you to call, as I also don't want to intrude on your family time. You and Frances were the first people from Laurel that befriended Mike and me when we started attending, and I hold you both in a special place in my heart, not to mention your two beautiful girls. Please know that I am praying for you daily.
We are praying for you!!
Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world." and "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Neither let them be afraid."
I care about you guys and you are in my heart and in my prayers. I feel helpless, but not without hope.
Love, Teresa M.
Scott and Frances,
Just praying for all of you now.
I have no words of wisdom here, just heart-felt sadness,and heavy heartedness for all of you. I hate als. I hate cancer. My mother-in-law starts palliative care chemo tomorrow. I wish I could get a certified letter from God to explain things I have no clue about, except that we live in a fallen world. I think it is time for another cry.
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Thank you from Rebekah...
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