Ups, Downs, Ups, Downs...
...repeat as necessary each hour of the day.
The morning started very early and daddy got a lot done in the office. Early morning times before the phones start and other people's emergencies take over his life are wonderful. Pandora provides the inspiration and the piles on the desk provide the work. While doing it this morning a few things came to mind:
We're thankful for:
a clean house, we mean really really clean. Every other Tuesday a wonderful family is paying for house cleaners to come and spend a few hours here.
Food. Good food and lots of it. Our awesome church family has been providing a few meals each week and it is such a huge relief to be able to just throw something in the oven or microwave and not have to fuss over "what's for dinner?"
Our Wednesday morning sweetheart who drops by with a bag of breakfast goodies and fruit every Wednesday morning like clock work. You ARE so wonderful.
Rebekah's bus driver. She has made the bus trips so fun that every night when it comes time to "tell Jesus what we are thankful for" the very first thing Rebekah says is "my school bus." Thank you for helping Rebekah buckle and unbuckle out of her car seat as mommy is not able to get up in the bus anymore and do it.
Clean dishes and laundry. Another wonderful awesome friend came Monday and helped mommy do some dishes and laundry. We can't tell you how much these things make a difference as mommy can still do a lot of things, she just can't do a lot. All of her energy gets used up so easily with just moving from here to there. And all of daddy's is spent dealing with long days in the office and the emotions that entails.
Little girls who, despite being little girls and sisters, listen well and love each other even better.
The co-worker of daddy's (another adoption attorney) who calls at least once a week "for no reason" just to make sure things are okay and give him someone to talk to.
Kleenex. 'Nuff said.
Costco's return policy. So many things have been backing up here that we needed to return and Costco took it all back yesterday, even though we only had receipts for some of it and much time had passed on other items.
Study medicine. Mommy is with us and somewhat able to walk and still do things with us. This was actually not expected back in September when we first found out about her familial ALS. We don't know how much more time she will have but we are SO thankful for every waking (walking) moment.
And yes, that kind of brings us through a cycle. Another good friend has turned us on to www.dreamfoundation.org. It's kind of a "Make-A-Wish" for adults. She sent us the info on it months ago and being in some sort of a self-protecting mode daddy promptly ignored it until today. Today the info was re-sent to us and both mommy and daddy took a lot at it. Unfortunately we probably qualify and that brought daddy to tears as it brought about the thoughts of being without mommy. Not being able to make it through the application daddy printed it out and took it to mommy. The second she saw it she started crying (again.) She told daddy that she too had started into it earlier and couldn't make it through the application because of her tears so she put it away, also putting away the tears that came with it. Even if only for a while - until daddy brought them back with the application.
Mommy can't carry things now. Just trying to walk at all with the cane or walker is difficult and if she has anything in her hand, no matter how light, her balance is way off and she will fall. It became apparent the other evening that while she can stand at the stove (with help) she can't take the pot of water and pasta the two steps over to the sink to drain it. Last night while out we couldn't find a handicapped spot and the related ramp so mommy had to step up a curb. Something we all take for granted like one step up a curb was a problem and daddy had to help. We are about at the point where the office door (two steps) is not going to work anymore. Abilities are slipping away, slowly maybe but definitely slipping away.
It's time for more furniture moving. Mommy still wants to get to a desk to handle medical bills, make calls, etc. and she can't the way things are right now. Mommy also needs to be able to get her wheelchair all the way into the bedroom and daddy's dresser is in the way of that. Some furniture is going to have to go just to open things up. And the bathroom, well, the shower is becoming more and more difficult and it looks like we are going to have to gut that and just tile everything, making an open shower where she can wheel into it. So many changes. Ugh.
And when at the bottom of the cycle we need only think about how with each and every little thing put in front of us there is a way around, over, or under it and back up again we go. God is so true when He says that He will provide and that We will not have something thrust upon us that we are not able to bear. We are thankful to God who has, thus far, brought us to a point of deep love for each other and for two beautiful little ladies who are SO extra special each in their own way. It may not be bedtime, but it is definitely time again to "Tell Jesus what we are thankful for..."
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